Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Red Box Review: Intruders
Remember the South Park mini-series Imaginationland and how awesome it was? Okay, good! Now, take that concept of your imagination being attacked and drain all of the awesome out, every single drop. Now, replace it with frustration and horrible story telling. There you go, you just made Intruders; a flaming car wreck of a movie. A hour into it I thought it was pretty decent but then it just dragged on and on and eventually ended. Why did it drag on because it's repetitive.
There's two storylines that somewhat intertwine but they are forcefully mashed together like a toddler with two colors of play-dough. It's as if there was a Spanish short film that had a predictable twist if you can even call it a twist was sloppily inter-cut with it's English remake with a few horrible bridges between the two, to make the movie seem intelligent. Not, to mention the B-Story is supposed to take place in the past. But, they make no conceivable effort to make it look like any other time period. Okay, I'll give them this much they didn't use cell phone in the "past sequences." They could have given the characters period hair cuts or even period clothes. But even that is too much of a challenge. I'm beginning to notice I've said the story is horrible with nothing to back up that claim. Okay, I did say a little but not enough. Here's the thing. The story is horribly predictable and repetitive. Wait, I said that already. I would except it more if the cohesiveness between the A-story and B-story was there. If the story was told better and it could have been told a lot better. If the editing was better and allowed for scenes that actually made sense. Why do we need to cut to a tiny character's hands as he rubs anti- bacterial lotion on them? Why did we cut to a close up of someone staring blankly? If the A-story actually mattered. There's a pretty decent Spanish film crammed in here and by itself it would flourish. But, it's cut together with this other half assed film and that's where it wilts and dies. Because, after awhile every time they cut to the Spanish story I rolled my eyes and lost just a little more interest in the film. But, I finished it begrudgingly. Because, I had it out for a few days and I'm not going to pay 3 bucks and change and not finish something. So my verdict and end of this rant is... if you see a copy of this somewhere just start punching it until, you are dragged away by the cops. It's that horrible.
If you want to see a bad movie with Clive Owen in it. Check out Shoot'em Up! Because, that's hilarious and fun to watch. Come to think of it not even that bad of a movie.